Donna, a mum in her thirties, had a few tough decisions to make before she came along to Fountainhead, but her time at the Retreat has taught her - even with the severe case that she had - that she too can learn a whole new way to handle her depression and anxiety.
Q. Hi Donna, I see you have been here for almost a month, how have you found being away from your children – especially over Easter and the holidays?
A. Well I really had no choice; my depression and anxiety had become so bad that I had a blackout in January.
Then my husband, Brad, found me behind the bathroom door after a 2nd blackout more recently, it was then that my family realised that they had to act now – before it got any worse.
It was hard decision to make, I wasn’t thinking straight for a start and I couldn’t decide what the best option was. I didn’t know whether to come here or to another retreat that I’d looked at, I didn’t know whether to wait till the kids went back to school or come now. I felt like was just adding extra stress on myself.
After 4 days I decided on Fountainhead, but by then the original space had been filled – so I was feeling even worse now. In the end my mum, Brad and I worked out what we do about the kids’ holidays and Easter and I booked in, I only had a short wait till the next available space and I knew I had to make myself a priority.
Q. How did you find the first few days then, after all that stress?
A. Once I got settled I was fine, I just knew that all I wanted was to get some help to get over this depression I’d been diagnosed with.
The funny thing is, I quickly came to realise it was actually anxiety I had been doing, not depression. Since I’ve been here and working on this, I can feel a difference in me for sure.
Q. Can you explain the sort of difference you mean?
A. I feel confident and I know now that I have self-worth.
I actually feel like I have gained myself back and above all I feel I have gained a great gift, one that I can give my kids.
I’ve also come to realise that other people ‘own’ their own beliefs, and if I don’t agree, that’s fine! Everyone sees things differently… and if I’m not on the defence anymore, I won’t feel under attack. You can’t imagine what a difference that is going to be for me, now I don’t have to feel like that anymore.
Q. Wow, yes – that’s powerful stuff, what else have you learnt?
A. Oh so much, I don’t know where to begin…. how about:
‘Only taking each moment as it comes – and deal with whatever comes along then.’ I understood that through having the mindfulness sessions.
‘Observing more and listening more.’ I mean really listening to what the other person is saying, you can’t know why a person would be saying things to you (as they are working out of their own unique belief system) so taking a moment to think about why they said that – not reacting immediately in defence.’
And another one would be ‘Forgiveness… The person who will benefit most from that is me.’
while I’ve been here, I could really see a change in him after 2 days.
While he was here we had a bit of an issue, but we dealt with it really well – I was really pleased with how I handled my part in it.
I’ll tell you something else too; I never used to answer my phone before I came here. I’d let it ring or go to answerphone, just in case I didn’t know the answer to the question. I’m going to make sure I answer my phone all the time now.
Q. That’s great Donna, you really understand the Fountainhead Method, have you thought of being a Life Coach?
A. (Laughing) I think I’m going to get some more practice in the outside world first!
I have a lot of changes to make to my life once I leave here, starting with changing my eating habits. I’m going to juice more and teach the kids about healthier food. I’m not going to be strictly no dairy or anything like that, I realise that if we’re out and about it may not be possible – and I won’t stress over it, but just making new habits is a good start.
Q. And how about the food, how have you found it here?
A. I’m doing the juice detox at the moment, and this morning when I went to get my juice from the dining room, the other guests were all having my favourite breakfast, it’s a porridge that Matt makes – delicious – I just had to grab my juice and keep on walking out… it was pretty hard to do!
Matt has been fantastic, as have all the chefs – but I’ve been really hammering him with questions about the food, he is so knowledgeable and he loves to talk about it with anyone that asks. We did a food school which was fantastic and of course the themed dinner parties were great, I even got all dressed up!
Q. Thanks Donna, it seems as though you really did accomplish what you came here to do – do you have anything else to add before you go off on your walk to town?
A. Oh well, everyone has been so supportive, in their own way. Craig has been brilliant, just the way he put things, he really helped me understand journaling – made me look at it in a different way. Matt, Mia, Tamara, Tina, oh, everyone really! They have all made this experience so much better, really heightened it.
