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Life Experiences Do Not Cause Stress; The Way We Think of Them Does

Stressed Girl With Head Down

Say this out loud: Experiences do not cause stress; the way we think of them does.

We realise that this concept goes against conventional thinking as well as popular opinion, and it may sound foreign to you if you have ever been in traditional psychological therapy. There is one point of difference that guides The Fountainhead Method in comparison to other systems aimed at understanding and reducing stress. The Fountainhead Method teaches us that life experiences do not cause stress; the way we think of them does.

Think about it for a moment. Stress is not caused by life experiences, it is caused by what we believe about that experience, and furthermore, what we believe this experience says about ourselves (our self-worth – e.g. this experience means I am worthless).

Some traditional therapists tend to link the cause of stress to a rather long list of experiences; experiences that are constantly being held responsible for the very origin of stress itself. Experiences such as buying a house, a death in the family or going through a divorce. We have concluded that these or other experiences were the cause of stress, however, if true, then everyone who had the same experience would experience the same stress. By analysing thousands of people over more than a decade, using The Fountainhead Method, this is clearly not the case.

Here are some examples:

Buying a house: Traditionally, this is known as a very stressful time. However, there are many other new homeowners celebrating this big purchase, having no stress at all.
Death in the family: A sibling is stressed because she feels her father will not be able to cope without her mother. Dad, on the other hand, is actually relieved his partner is no longer suffering. Both are grieving, but their feelings of stress are completely different.
Going through divorce: For some, divorce can be extremely stressful. Yet for others, it is a time of freedom and peace. An abused partner rejoices knowing that this part of their life is over and a new journey is beginning.

In these short examples, it is not the experience that is causing stress, but the conclusion that is drawn about the experience. The reason why and how people think about unwanted experiences is understandable and as we clarified in earlier articles, the conclusions we draw about life are based on our beliefs. These beliefs are shaped by our learning, which is influenced or reinforced by society. As a result, we are often convinced all experiences hold the same meaning for everyone.

This, of course, is not true.

For more information on The Fountainhead Method™ or to find out more about a residential program, call one of our consultants on 1300 294 290 or contact us today.

 


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